Apprentice Days
by flash6004
Summary: A day at the mall starts it all. Lionpaw, Jaypaw, and Hollypaw have gone PHYSCO! Lionpaw is the "ladies' tom", Hollypaw is the boy-crazy she-cat, and now Jaypaw has a man-purse? R&R Better Than The Summary
1. The Start of Randomness

"**Shop! I love fashion. Shop! I like dresses. Shop! I like shoes. Come on honey, spend the money! Shop!" **sang a shopping Squirrelflight. Hollypaw started to stare at this muscular cat-manikin, drooling. "Mom, we're bored," Jaypaw complained. Squirrelflight let her eye twitch and she exploded, "**I'M NOT YOU MOUSEBRAINED MOTHER!" **Lionpaw (holding up a paw and making a hiss) "Rrrrr." Squirrelflight left her purse on a stool, and Jaypaw used his mind powers to make it float towards them. Lionpaw used his awesome strength to grab the purse and Hollypaw, and they skipped towards the food court. "OMG! The Hippie Store!" Hollypaw yowled. She held up a peace sign and then she made a grab for the man-purse on Jaypaw. "No! This is my purse!" Jaypaw snarled. "Oh… Mmm… Gee…" whispered the cats around them. Lionpaw said, "I want to explore the Hippie Store." Jaypaw slammed a paw to the ground and said, "Fine, but I get to choose the next store."

_**About Ten and a half hours later…**_

"**KITS! KITS! LIONPAW, JAYPAW, HOLLYPAW!" **boomed Squirrelflight as she walked towards them. "Hide!" yowled Hollypaw, her ears pulled back in a bandana and jeans on. Jaypaw, with his pink man-purse and a jean jacket on, pushed them into a tight space behind the fattest cat of them all, Cloudtail. Lionpaw, whom was wearing a black shirt and jeans, gnawed on Cloudtail. Finally, Squirrelflight passed them. Jaypaw said, "I want to go to Abercrombie and Finch next."

_**(Flash6004, Lionblaze, and Cinderheart are completely confused right now.)**_

When they were finished with Jaypaw's cool store, Lionpaw wanted to go towards the she-cats that were hanging out around the Perfumed Cat. "Hey, ladies," Lionpaw purred, smooth as honey. Minnowpaw and Cinderpaw batted their eyes at him, while Heatherpaw rubbed his chin with her paw and said, "You have some pretty sisters." "I'm a dude!" Jaypaw wailed. Dawnpaw and Ivypaw squeaked and pulled him towards their leather chairs. Jaypaw said, "Uh… carry on!" Hollypaw got in a deep conversation with two toms, Tigerpaw and Breezepaw. Lionpaw was drooling streams while he stared at the pretty she-cats. Minnowpaw leaned forward and whispered, "Thundercat, why don't you come closer?" Hollypaw, turning towards Lionpaw, thought, _Cha-chang. _And of course, Lionpaw still had no clue these clever she-cats were trying to pick-pocket him. Pulling him between them, Dovepaw and Cinderpaw leaned on his shoulder until he closed his eyes, enjoying this moment. Being WindClan, a fast Heatherpaw grabbed his jacket and grabbed his wallet. "RUN!" screamed Ivypaw, and they dashed away, leaving Lionpaw gazing helplessly after them.

When they returned to ThunderClan, the apprentices got into their den. Brambleclaw, their father, walked over and asked, "Did you have fun at the mall?" Lionpaw was sleeping, Jaypaw was clutching his man-purse and snoring. Hollypaw thought, _Yeah, we had fun. Jaypaw got a man-purse; Lionpaw got fooled and lost all of his money by some clever she-apprentices; I met two hot toms but they just liked my pretty looks. _Yeah, it was a bad time. "Good," Hollypaw replied, and fell asleep.


	2. Lets Go Trash a Gas Station!

The next day started out like any other: Jaypaw beat the living crap out of Leafpool with many cuss words, Lionpaw wrestled and won many fights, and Hollypaw stuffed herself with mice. Then, their grandtom Firestar gave them $344, 6034, 3234, 322, 3334, 1334, 329, 43, 01 dollars.

"**YOU ALL BE CAREFUL!" **yowled Squirrelflight when they left. "You want to drink milk and blow all the money?" Hollypaw asked them. Jaypaw in his man-purse said, "I 3 that idea." Lionpaw agreed, so they went to the Lakeside Gas Station. It was still closed, for the lazy owner known as Tallpoppy had forgotten to open it… AGAIN. An evil grin crossed Lionpaw's face. "Oh, no," Hollypaw muttered. "Lets invite all the apprentices," Lionpaw began, "And then we'll trash the place!" So they called Ivypaw, Dovepaw, Dawnpaw, Heatherpaw, Minnowpaw, Foxpaw, Icepaw, Flamepaw, Tigerpaw, Breezepaw, Hollowpaw, Mistypaw, and Reedpaw.

Lionpaw jumped onto the table, spraying silly string all over the place and singing:

"_P-p-poker face! Mmmaaaama! P-p-poker face!" _Foxpaw and Flamepaw were having a competition to see who could fit the most hot dogs in their noses. Hollowpaw and Dovepaw started to dance… really, really bad dancing. Suddenly there was a "Hello, my little monsters" and Lady Gaga walked in. "What's up?" she asked, and started singing "Poker Face". Breezepaw screamed, "OMG, Lady Gaga I love you!" Heatherpaw slapped him and snarled, "I thought you loved me!" Mistypaw started cracking up laughing, and Lionpaw saw the catmint in her paws. "Oh, God," Lionpaw had the chance to say before Mistypaw tackled him and squealed, "I love you, Liony!" "Help!" he pleaded. Tigerpaw and Reedpaw advanced and pulled her away.

Jaypaw started to talk about fashion with Dawnpaw and Dovepaw, so Lionpaw started to dance. Suddenly he saw a smoothie machine, he shoved his face under it, and cats began to yell, "Jug! Jug!" Then, suddenly, the cops ran towards the store, busted open the doors, and screamed, "Hooligans!" Brambleclaw, one of the cops, saw his three fake kits and he scowled. Rowanclaw, Crowfeather, and Hawkfrost, the other cops, started clubbing the apprentices like crazy and slinging them into bags: marked ThunderClan, WindClan, RiverClan, ShadowClan… and for some strange reason, SkyClan.

"Why did you break a gas station?" Brambleclaw the cop asked as he drove them home in the police car. "I am going to be completely honest, and not blame anyone," Hollypaw sighed, then she pointed at Lionpaw and accused, "Lionpaw made us!" "Nuh uh! It was Jaypaw and his man-purse!" Lionpaw roared. Jaypaw started to blame Hollypaw, and Brambleclaw banged his head against the window and thought, _Why, __**why, **__did I have to have kits? _

**Flash6004: So, 'paws, did you learn your lesson?**

**Hollypaw: Maybe.**

**Jaypaw: I need to name my man-purse.**

**Lionpaw: I want to trash another place! **

**Flash6004: You got it! *smiles evilly* **


	3. The Truth Hurts

The next morning, Hollypaw and her brothers decided that they would try to be honest, and only tell the truth. So, now they were strutting along the camp. Millie walked up to Jaypaw and said, "Do these stripes make my tail look big?" Lionpaw replied, "Of course they do! Why else would Graystripe choose you over Silverstream?" "Oh, Silverstream was the bomb!" Jaypaw squeaked. "Yeah, RiverClan cats know how to party," Lionpaw agreed. Millie roared with fury and grabbed the two toms, slashed them to the ground, and stomped away. Graystripe slid out of the warriors' den and purred, "Hey, Millie, wazzup?" Millie punched him and yelled, "You she-cat-anizor!" Then Millie screamed and ran off. Graystripe blinked and said, "Oh, whatever. I'll go have kits with Hazeltail."

So, now it was Hollypaw's turn to be honest. She walked up to Foxpaw and Bumblepaw, who were being pervs over Ivypaw and Dovepaw. Hollypaw said, "You two are pervs." Bumblepaw flattened his ears, and Jaypaw said, "Oh, don't be mean to them." They relaxed, but Lionpaw added, "They are just following in their dads' footsteps!" Dustpelt, who was sitting beside Graystripe (who was eyeing Hazeltail), Hazeltail, Sandstorm, and Ferncloud, raised his head and gave a breathy laugh. Ferncloud hissed and attacked; Firestar came over and slashed out his best friend and Tigerstar's former friend's necks for eyeballing Sandstorm.

The guidance-cat, Leafpool, had them sit on the rocks while she explained stuff about being honest. "Now," Leafpool said, "I'm going to rap about my message. Aht-ham."

_Being honest is totally cool,_

_But sometimes you feel like you've fallen in a pool! _

_The feelings you've got inside ya', _

_Can make people hate ya'. _

_You need to keep those hurtful feelings inside,_

_Or else tears will rise from their eyes! _

Leafpool stopped rapping and looked at them. "Word," she mewed. Then she pushed them out of her office. "So, now what do we do?" Hollypaw asked. "If something's bad, we should lie," Jaypaw confirmed. Suddenly Toadstep raced towards them, his head on fire. "Jaypaw!" he gasped. "Is my head on fire?" The three apprentices flinched and said, "Uh… would that be a bad thing?" "Of course!" growled Toadstep. "Then… no," Lionpaw lied, "Your head is not on fire." Toadstep leaned on a boulder and sighed happily. Then he said, "Well, how are things with you 'paws?" "G-good," Hollypaw stammered, gulping down the fear that rose in her chest.

The fire spread, and soon the Tribe of Rushing Water had to come to make it go away. Scorched and smoked, the cats of ThunderClan huddled around the Highledge. Firestar looked down at the three apprentices and said, "So… don't tell the truth, ok?"


	4. Fried Pickles!

Jaypaw, Lionpaw, and Hollypaw ran towards the Batcave. Suddenly the Joker took out a machine gun and shot them in the back. The letters GAME OVER shined on the video game machine. "Ugh, I'm all out of money," Lionpaw grunted. Jaypaw slapped his paw over his mouth and hissed, "Don't say that out loud!" Suddenly the security, Nightcloud, kicked them out of the arcade. "Want to go to the Zoo?" asked Jaypaw. "Sure," Hollypaw said.

"HELP!" Lionpaw was being attacked by a lioness. "LADIES JUST DON'T LIKE ME TODAY!" Hollypaw was fretting, and she grabbed Lionpaw and pulled him away from the lioness. "Lets go get a fried pickle," Jaypaw suggested, "That'll make you feel better." So they went and bought a fried pickle, and Jaypaw spotted purses. He bought five, and stuffed four in the biggest one, a pink one with bright yellow letters stitched in: _Hot Stuff. _"I'm gonna name you Kieffer," Jaypaw squeaked. Lionpaw stiffened and said, "Ugh. Its 10: 01 PM. We should be heading back." Hollypaw gasped. _Lionpaw is responsible? OMG! _

**~Sorry that that was so short. I have to go hunting, so… PEACE! The next one will be longer**

**Flash6004**


	5. What Their Warrior Names MeanThe End

"From this moment forward, you shall be known as Hollyleaf, for that leaf on top of your head," Firestar announced. Hollyleaf nodded and walked away. "From this moment forward, you shall be known as Lionblaze," said Firestar. "Because your so _hot_!" squeaked Cinderpaw. "And, for a weird reason, you'll name will be Jayfeather because jays always have feathers," Firestar said. And so, this is what happened to our good friends Jayfeather, Hollyleaf, and Lionblaze: Jayfeather became a Mexican wrestler, Lionblaze had lots of kits, and Hollyleaf went to become a movie star.

**THE END**

_**By the way, how was my hunting trip? Awful! I dropped one of my arrows and the deer heard and ran off. PEACE! **_


End file.
